💭 Life Lessons from My Pre-20s

I recently entered a new phase of my life — my twenties.

Your twenties are said to be the most life-changing years of your life, and I am really excited for that.

But as I reflect on the past two decades, I realise that life has already taught me many lessons.

So, I present to you 10 things I have learnt from my pre-20s.

1. There’s value in everything

Every person you meet, every conversation you have, every place you travel to, every book you read — these will all impact your life in some way or another.

Perhaps they might change some of your perspectives, or give you some inspiration, so really value the experience.

2. Everything, whether good or bad, happens for a reason

You may not understand now, but it will become clear in the future.

Hindsight is 20/20, right?

Every experience you have will ultimately shape who you are as a person so it’s important to just embrace it and learn from it.

3. Grab opportunities and make the most of them

If you think about it, sometimes what makes someone successful is not so much their talent or ability, but rather opportunities.

Opportunities are literally the key to changing one’s life. They are everywhere, but it’s up to you to grab them and make the most of them.

However, there is a caveat.

Mindlessly grabbing every single opportunity that comes your way can lead to fatigue and loss of direction, so be sure to choose wisely.

This can best be described by the Law of Diminishing Returns where after a certain point, increasing the number of opportunities we grab instead leads to a negative output.

Rough sketch of The Law of Diminishing Returns

4. Reflect on your sadness

When you feel sad, hurt, or even angry, write down your feelings.

Then think about why you’re feeling this way and if there’s anything you can do to help with the situation.

Sometimes our sadness can really affect our concentration, so give yourself a set time period to mourn.

Once that’s over, move on.

Remember your priorities and don’t let your sadness sway you from your responsibilities.

5. Learn to deal with conflict instead of shying away

In life, there will always be conflict to deal with — it’s just part of the learning process.

Conflict is not a bad thing. In fact, it can help you to reaffirm your values.

The important thing to remember though is to not take anything personally. It’s not about you as a person, but rather your viewpoints or actions.

Remove the emotions from the situation.

Also, always look at the matter from both perspectives. Put yourself in the other party’s position and imagine how you would behave if you were them.

6. Time is abstract so how you use it really defines it

Three hours may seem like a long time, but you could spend it scrolling aimlessly or doing something productive.

Either way, it’s the same amount of time, but two completely different usages.

Time is precious, so don’t squander it.

Be intentional and mindful of your time usage.

7. Live in the present

Don’t live in the past or the future, because the present will soon be the past and the present was once the future.

Cherish the little things in life.

This quote by Robert Holden really captures the essence of this:

Beware of Destination Addiction… a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.

8. Be comfortable with who you are and your personality

You don’t have to be one-dimensional — you don’t have to be fixed to a certain personality.

As you grow up and experience more in life, it’s natural for growth and behavioural changes to occur.

I used to be a really shy and soft-spoken child, and I thought that I had to be this way forever if not people would think that I’m pretending to be what I’m not.

But this is honestly a very damaging mentality to have, especially for a child that is still developing because it really limits their progress.

And I’m happy to say that I think I’ve finally come out of my shell now!

Me posing for a “candid” shot

9. Don’t put thoughts into other people’s heads

Have you ever worried about doing something because you thought other people might judge you for it?

Well guess what, chances are no one thought anything about it.

The Spotlight Effect

The spotlight effect is where you think that everyone is watching and judging you, but in reality, no one is because they are too busy thinking the exact thing about themselves.

And okay, even if they do judge you, who cares?

Judging people is human nature — you can’t run away from it.

You and I both know that we do judge other people as well. But the thing is everyone is entitled to their own opinions, so just do you.

10. Take care of yourself

2020, with all its woes, has actually been a great chance for us to slow down, pause, and reflect on life.

Do what you need to do to practise self-care.

Have enough sleep, eat well, don’t overwork, make time for God and your loved ones, and cherish the important things in life.